joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.

A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it? The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."