joke bank - Sexist Jokes

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.

Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.