joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?!

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!