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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes." The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.

minecrap2000

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.

LaughFactory

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

Anonymous

Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." Doris asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Fascinated, Doris says, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it sure worked for your ass!"

Anonymous

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

LaughFactory

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
A: Because they found out by dragging them by their legs that their hole would fill up with mud.

Mark My Words

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I don't know, it has never happened.

LaughFactory

They say that married men live the longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.

ahudson1982

What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!

NKEEFER401

How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.

LaughFactory

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Same time next month?

FletcherSloan

Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

gregorcollins