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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
A: Because they found out by dragging them by their legs that their hole would fill up with mud.

Mark My Words

Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." Doris asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Fascinated, Doris says, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it sure worked for your ass!"

Anonymous

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

LaughFactory

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.

LaughFactory

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I don't know, it has never happened.

LaughFactory

Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Dallas hoe."

Mark My Words

They say that married men live the longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.

ahudson1982

What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!

NKEEFER401

Jane: "Where are all the kind, considerate, loving men who can show their feelings?"
Jill: "They already have boyfriends."

Mark My Words

Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

gregorcollins

How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.

LaughFactory

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Paige123