Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.