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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Same time next month?

FletcherSloan

Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."

Mark My Words

Q: Combine 3 girls and what you do you get?
A: A fat chick.

Zenkuro Mo...

There are some girls that like to do something called "homie hopping" and homie hopping is basically a girl dates a guy and then she ends up trying to get with his friends, and then she gets with someone new, then jumps to his other friends, and so on. Guys have this and it's called "testing the waters".

Chrishizzle

Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

gregorcollins

I have received hundreds of replies to my ad for a husband. They all say the same thing - "Take mine."

alipatak

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Paige123

A boy asked his dad, "What's the difference between a woman and a slave?" His father replies, "I don't know, what?" His son says, "No, I was asking a question."

cayres01

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

RainbowFish18

Jane: "Where are all the kind, considerate, loving men who can show their feelings?"
Jill: "They already have boyfriends."

Mark My Words

I have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years. What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond? My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a movie when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. Since I took a split second, she had to go to the mall and buy new outfits with jewelry, shoes, and purses to match.

shedpal

What is the mating call of a blond? I'm so drunk. What is the mating call of a brunette? Is that blonde gone yet? What is ther mating call of a redhead? NEXT!

cynthiasny...