Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.