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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
A: About fifty pounds.

Mark My Words

Q: What do you call a bunch of women dancing on the bar?
A: The Periodic Table.

Chris Moonn

Why not to trust women? It's simple, how can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Deen1983

Q: Why is a woman with no breasts a pirate's delight?
A: Because she has a sunken chest.

Bill52

Little Johnny's teacher gives the class a homework assignment, "Explain the difference between a theory and reality." Little Johnny goes home and is so stumped he asks his sisters ages 21 and 16 for help, and they can't come up with anything either. He then tries asking his father. The father thinks for a bit and replies, "Go to your older sister and ask her if she would suck a guys dick. Then ask her if she would do it for a million dollars. Then go to your younger sister and ask her the same two questions. Write down their answers and bring it back to me." Johnny says, "Okay," and runs off to find his older sister. He asks her the first question and she responds, "Maybe, if I like him." "Would you do it for a million dollars?" She replies, "Hell yes!" He finds the younger sister and asks her the same questions. Her first reply was "Eeeew, no!" but the second answer was "Yeah, sure." Johnny writes down their answers and takes them back to his father. The father looks over them and replies, "There you go." Johnny asks, "What do you mean?" The father says, "Well in theory we have two million dollars, but in reality we have two cocksuckers."

cam231

How do you get a dishwasher to dig a hole? Give the woman a shovel!

Scoot32

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Chris Rock

There once was a man named Sweeney.
He spilled some gin on his weenie.
That being uncouth,
He dipped it in vermouth,
And slipped his wife a dry martini.

Mark My Words

Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts there.

Anonymous

Q: Why did God give women legs?
A: To walk from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Anonymous

Q: What's the most expensive Jewish wine?
A: "I wanna go to Florida!"

Mark My Words

What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud.

Anonymous