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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Dallas hoe."

Mark My Words

Why not to trust women? It's simple, how can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Deen1983

Q: What do you call a bunch of women dancing on the bar?
A: The Periodic Table.

Chris Moonn

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Chris Rock

I like my women like I like my pizzas: cheap and ready to go.

Emily and ...

How do you get a dishwasher to dig a hole? Give the woman a shovel!

Scoot32

Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
A: About fifty pounds.

Mark My Words

Q: Why is a woman with no breasts a pirate's delight?
A: Because she has a sunken chest.

Bill52

There once was a man named Sweeney.
He spilled some gin on his weenie.
That being uncouth,
He dipped it in vermouth,
And slipped his wife a dry martini.

Mark My Words

Little Johnny's teacher gives the class a homework assignment, "Explain the difference between a theory and reality." Little Johnny goes home and is so stumped he asks his sisters ages 21 and 16 for help, and they can't come up with anything either. He then tries asking his father. The father thinks for a bit and replies, "Go to your older sister and ask her if she would suck a guys dick. Then ask her if she would do it for a million dollars. Then go to your younger sister and ask her the same two questions. Write down their answers and bring it back to me." Johnny says, "Okay," and runs off to find his older sister. He asks her the first question and she responds, "Maybe, if I like him." "Would you do it for a million dollars?" She replies, "Hell yes!" He finds the younger sister and asks her the same questions. Her first reply was "Eeeew, no!" but the second answer was "Yeah, sure." Johnny writes down their answers and takes them back to his father. The father looks over them and replies, "There you go." Johnny asks, "What do you mean?" The father says, "Well in theory we have two million dollars, but in reality we have two cocksuckers."

cam231

Q: Why did God give women legs?
A: To walk from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Anonymous

What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller.

Anonymous