A man and a wife were in bed one morning when the wife said, "I had a strange dream last night. I dreamed I was at a penis auction. Long penises were going for $100 and thick penises were going for $300." The husband asked, "What would mine go for?" The wife replied, "They were giving ones like yours away for free." The husband said, "I also had a dream last night about an auction where they were selling juicy vaginas for $500 and tight vaginas for $1,000." "How about mine?" the wife asked and the husband replied, "That was where they were holding the auction."
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.