TIM ALLEN IS BACK IN HOLLYWOOD ON FEB 1ST! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS SO HURRY AND GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!! COME AND SUPPORT A SPECIAL FUNDRAISER SHOW FOR THE CRIMMINS' FAMILY ON JAN. 23RD FEATURING TODAY'S TOP COMICS!

joke bank - Word Play Jokes

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Kiana

Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

Anonymous

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Mark My Words

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

Anonymous

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!

Yusuf

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

WhiteFang333

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

TheLaughFa...

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Silenxio M...

Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc.

Anonymous

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!

TheLaughFa...

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Wanna hear a joke about construction?
A: Never mind, I'm still working on it.

Laughathon