A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "All of me."
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Q: How do fish get high?
Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.