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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why didn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.

slic hated

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

Q: Why did the man take toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he was a party pooper.

Keyke

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES - There is a mile between the first and last letters!

beauty94

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

jamiedawg17

Teacher: "What is the largest city?"
Student: "Electricity!"

samarth.b.r

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Mark My Words

Q: What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

taylah

Q: What's the difference between America and yogurt?
A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

MsEverybod...

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An investigator.

Anonymous

Hickory Dickory Dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got away with minor injuries.

Mark My Words

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...