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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Anonymous

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

skylah gol...

Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!

hello_the_...

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Anonymous

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

Q: Why do blonde girls walk in groups of odd numbers?
A: Because they can't even!

Jojo C

Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters?
A: Post office.

CanadianBr...

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: A thesaurus.

Silenxio M...