joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!

Yusuf

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

skylah gol...

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Anonymous

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Anonymous

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!

TheLaughFa...

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

Q: Why do blonde girls walk in groups of odd numbers?
A: Because they can't even!

Jojo C

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters?
A: Post office.

CanadianBr...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: A thesaurus.

Silenxio M...