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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Q: What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

taylah

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender turns to him and says, "Sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." The next day, clinging to a thread, the string returns to that same bar and orders a drink again. The bartender, resolute, again turns and says, "I'm sorry, sir, but like I said, we don't serve strings here. I'm going to have to ask you not to return." Dejected, the string returns home. All night he tosses and turns, wriggles and writhes, and awakes the next morning not at all resembling himself. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he brightens and jets out his door to that bar. Swaggering in, he orders a drink one more time. The bartender stares at him, squinty eyed, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you a string? You look very familiar." The string locks eyes with the bartender, and states, "No, sir. I'm a frayed knot."

missrose

Teacher: "What is the largest city?"
Student: "Electricity!"

samarth.b.r

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An investigator.

Anonymous

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

amuradi

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A: "Odor in the court!"

jonpingel

Q: What's the difference between America and yogurt?
A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

MsEverybod...

A neutron walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer. How much will that be?" The bartender responds, "For you? No charge!"

Anonymous

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...