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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Iamfunnyhaha

Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Dallas hoe."

Mark My Words

Q: When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, what happens?
A: UCLA.

Anonymous

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.

screwstock

Q: Why did the coach go back to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback!

jericho st...

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous

''Doctor, my nose is 11 inches long!"
''Come back when it grows into a foot!"

hello_the_...

Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.

Anonymous

What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro sink-o!

kolchefske

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Silenxio M...

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender turns to him and says, "Sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." The next day, clinging to a thread, the string returns to that same bar and orders a drink again. The bartender, resolute, again turns and says, "I'm sorry, sir, but like I said, we don't serve strings here. I'm going to have to ask you not to return." Dejected, the string returns home. All night he tosses and turns, wriggles and writhes, and awakes the next morning not at all resembling himself. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he brightens and jets out his door to that bar. Swaggering in, he orders a drink one more time. The bartender stares at him, squinty eyed, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you a string? You look very familiar." The string locks eyes with the bartender, and states, "No, sir. I'm a frayed knot."

missrose

Q: How do you get a blond on the roof?
A: You tell her the food is on the house.

Anonymous