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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
A: Frankenstein.

Alejandro ...

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!

Yusuf

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large.

TuboSheen

What do cars eat on their toast? Traffic jam.

Anonymous

Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?
A: Firetruck.

russ buss

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the man take toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he was a party pooper.

Keyke

Teacher: "What is the largest city?"
Student: "Electricity!"

samarth.b.r

A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "12:30."

Marceline

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Silenxio M...

Q: What's the difference between America and yogurt?
A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

MsEverybod...