What do cars eat on their toast? Traffic jam.
Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!
I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.
Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.