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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why couldn't the Pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.

Anonymous

Q: What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
A: "Supplies!"

LAMEGIRL23

Q: What do you call a famous fish?
A: A star fish.

Anonymous

Q: Why didn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.

slic hated

This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”

robboss301

Q: What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?
A: Sorry, I'm a little horse.

lollylicer4

Q: Why do pirates not know the alphabet?
A: They always get stuck at "c."

Jerroy

Q: Can a match box?
A: No, but a tin can.

Anonymous

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Silenxio M...

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

Q: What do you call a T-Rex's bruise? A: A dino-sore.

I Rindflei...