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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why did the coach go back to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback!

jericho st...

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

A drunk staggers out of a bar and lets go of a loud belch just as a couple are walking in the door. The man yells at the drunk, "How dare you belch before this woman!" The drunk says, "I'm sorry! I didn't know she wanted to go first."

Mark My Words

Teacher: "Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student: "At the bottom of the page!"

sweety

Q: Did you hear abut the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.

LAMEGIRL23

Q: Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 Cokes?
A: He burped 7Up.

Anonymous

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way.

Anonymous

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

I'm in trouble with my next door neighbors. I went over to their house recently to jump on there tramperleen. I had just got on when I heard a voice say, "Hey you, get off my daughter Erleen!"

joe curtis

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.

screwstock

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."

ink123

Q: How do you get a blond on the roof?
A: You tell her the food is on the house.

Anonymous