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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

chris

Q: Why didn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.

slic hated

Q: Why can't you tell an egg a joke?
A: Because it will crack up.

yo ugly mama

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.

screwstock

Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
A: Because it's two tired.

Groot

Q: Did you hear abut the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.

LAMEGIRL23

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.

heartc

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Liam Singl...

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

jakethasna...

Q: What do you call a famous fish?
A: A star fish.

Anonymous