What do cars eat on their toast? Traffic jam.
A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "12:30."
Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.
Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.
A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?""