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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What is the dirtiest line said on television?
A: "Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night."

Mark My Words

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way.

Anonymous

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!

hello_the_...

Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

Brotato

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."

ink123

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his pizza before it was cool.

lizconrow

Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts there.

Anonymous

Q: Why does Micheal Jackson like twenty six year olds?
A: Because there's twenty of them.

eric

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.

Anonymous

Q: What's the most expensive Jewish wine?
A: "I wanna go to Florida!"

Mark My Words

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.

Anonymous