joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

A: He was sitting on the deck.

Anonymous

Q: Why does Micheal Jackson like twenty six year olds?
A: Because there's twenty of them.

eric

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

hello_the_...

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

Brotato

Q: What's the most expensive Jewish wine?
A: "I wanna go to Florida!"

Mark My Words

Q: Did you hear abut the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.

LAMEGIRL23

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way.

Anonymous

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

Robin Bowen

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."

ink123

Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians having sex with a cedar? A: A tree-way.

hellspit1981

Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.