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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.

Anonymous

A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?""

Justin19S

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

hello_the_...

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.

Carlisle

Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.

Anonymous

An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.

Dr. John

A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What do you have on tap?" He replies, "Anheuser-Busch" (And-how's-your bush). She says, "Just fine. How's your penis?"

Mark My Words

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yodelay hee.
Yodelay hee who?
I like your yodeling!

Anonymous

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do convicts get drugs while they're in prison?
A: Some asshole brings 'em in.

Jimmy Carr

Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!

Anonymous