Q: What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
A: Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)
A man committed suicide by chopping his head off and left a suicide note in his mouth reading, "I don't need no body."
Why did the duck go to jail?
Because He Was Selling QUACK.
A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of his trousers. In fact, it looks like his penis is stuck through the center of it. The bartender says, "Hey pirate! You've got your penis stuck in a steering wheel!" The pirate replied, "Arrrr, I know! It drives me nuts!"
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: It's okay. He woke up.