Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.
Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.
This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!