joke bank - Word Play Jokes

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians having sex with a cedar? A: A tree-way.

hellspit1981

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his pizza before it was cool.

lizconrow

A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What do you have on tap?" He replies, "Anheuser-Busch" (And-how's-your bush). She says, "Just fine. How's your penis?"

Mark My Words

Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.

Anonymous

Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!

Anonymous

A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?""

Justin19S

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...

Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.

Anonymous

An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.

Dr. John

Fe = Iron.
Male = Man.
Fe + Male = Iron Man.
I have been having sex with Iron Man.

Fred

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Seth Rihn