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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).

Dylan and ...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: A thesaurus.

Silenxio M...

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: You can roast beef but you cant pee soup.

Anonymous

Q: What is the dirtiest line said on television?
A: "Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night."

Mark My Words

Q: What's the most expensive Jewish wine?
A: "I wanna go to Florida!"

Mark My Words

What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro sink-o!

kolchefske

A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What do you have on tap?" He replies, "Anheuser-Busch" (And-how's-your bush). She says, "Just fine. How's your penis?"

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the house go to the doctor?
A: It was having window pains.

Capricorn37

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender turns to him and says, "Sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." The next day, clinging to a thread, the string returns to that same bar and orders a drink again. The bartender, resolute, again turns and says, "I'm sorry, sir, but like I said, we don't serve strings here. I'm going to have to ask you not to return." Dejected, the string returns home. All night he tosses and turns, wriggles and writhes, and awakes the next morning not at all resembling himself. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he brightens and jets out his door to that bar. Swaggering in, he orders a drink one more time. The bartender stares at him, squinty eyed, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you a string? You look very familiar." The string locks eyes with the bartender, and states, "No, sir. I'm a frayed knot."

missrose

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.

Carlisle

Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.

Anonymous