DOORS OPEN AT 7PM for 7:30/7:45 shows - DOORS OPEN AT 9PM for 9:30/9:45 shows

joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Rexx

A drunk staggers out of a bar and lets go of a loud belch just as a couple are walking in the door. The man yells at the drunk, "How dare you belch before this woman!" The drunk says, "I'm sorry! I didn't know she wanted to go first."

Mark My Words

Ya need an ark? I Noah guy.

Anonymous

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.

Carlisle

Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.

Anonymous

Q: What Do You Call A Cow With No Legs
A: Ground Beef

Anonymous

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!

cupquake

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

Robin Bowen

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

jamiedawg17

The lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life," but john came fifth and won a toaster.

bobby johnson

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES - There is a mile between the first and last letters!

beauty94