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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Rexx

Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.

Anonymous

Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.

Anonymous

Q: What Do You Call A Cow With No Legs
A: Ground Beef

Anonymous

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.

Carlisle

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.

Brett rose...

Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!

cupquake

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

jamiedawg17

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES - There is a mile between the first and last letters!

beauty94

Q: On what kind of ships do students study? A: Scholarships.

Anonymous

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

Robin Bowen