CHRIS D'ELIA IS BACK ON THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SHOW ON FEB. 23RD! LAUGH ALL NIGHT WITH SOCAL'S BEST COMICS ON ALL-STAR COMEDY EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD DROP BY ON THE SET DANE COOK IS BACK THIS TUESDAY (FEB 20) AND SATURDAY (FEB 24) TO MAKE YOU LAUGH ALL NIGHT! DON'T MISS THIS SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
A: You rocket.

Anonymous

Q: What Do You Call A Cow With No Legs
A: Ground Beef

Anonymous

Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.

Anonymous

Q: Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
A: Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!

cupquake

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Anonymous

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a stroke and the third couldn't reach.

Carlisle

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

jamiedawg17

Q: On what kind of ships do students study? A: Scholarships.

Anonymous

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES - There is a mile between the first and last letters!

beauty94

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).

Dylan and ...

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.

Brett rose...

Q: Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
A: To see the butter fly!

ltfacio