joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: On what kind of ships do students study? A: Scholarships.


A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.


Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).

Dylan and ...

Q: What did the storm say to the almond tree?
A: "Hold on to your nuts, cause you're about to get a blowjob."


Q: What do you call two nuts on the wall?
A: Walnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on the chest? A: Chestnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on your chin?
A: A Blowjob.

Mark My Words

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Seth Rihn

Q: Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
A: To see the butter fly!


I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.


What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro sink-o!


Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!


Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

A: He was sitting on the deck.


Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: You can roast beef but you cant pee soup.