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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!


I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.


Q: What do you call two nuts on the wall?
A: Walnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on the chest? A: Chestnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on your chin?
A: A Blowjob.

Mark My Words

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer!

Kay wat???!

Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.


A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Mark My Words

A magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway.


Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."


What do you call a piece of cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese.


What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.


Q: Where can you buy most of your chess pieces?
A: the pawn shop