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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!

Anonymous

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

amuradi

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer!

Kay wat???!

Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call two nuts on the wall?
A: Walnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on the chest? A: Chestnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on your chin?
A: A Blowjob.

Mark My Words

I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.

Brandon

A magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway.

Anonymous

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."

ink123

Q: Where can you buy most of your chess pieces?
A: the pawn shop

Anonymous

What do you call a piece of cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese.

Anonymous

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.

Demcowboys

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? "Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant."

timwk