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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!


Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.


Q: Why did the house go to the doctor?
A: It was having window pains.


I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.


To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer!

Kay wat???!

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Mark My Words

A magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway.


My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sex, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sex outback of the church.

Mark My Words

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."


What do you call a piece of cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese.


What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.