joke bank - Word Play Jokes

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Q: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.