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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sex, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sex outback of the church.

Mark My Words

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Mark My Words

Q: Which state has the most questions?
A: Alaska.

joke lover

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.

Anonymous

Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A: "Annex" marks the spot.

Anonymous

Q: What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
A: You make a seizure salad.

Anonymous

Q: What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

TheLaughFa...

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

Sarah Ponder

Q: Where did the general keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies.

Donut 347

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

Anonymous

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.

Anonymous

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'.

nashty.pum...