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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sex, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sex outback of the church.

Mark My Words

Q: Which state has the most questions?
A: Alaska.

joke lover

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? "Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant."


Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.


Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A: "Annex" marks the spot.


Q: What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
A: You make a seizure salad.


Q: What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.


A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"


Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

Sarah Ponder

Q: Where did the general keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies.

Donut 347

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'.


I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.