joke bank - Word Play Jokes

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.


Q: Where did the general keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies.

Donut 347

Q: What do you call a wandering caveman?
A: A meanderthal.


A tomato dad, mother, and son are walking in a street. The tomato son falls behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on him, and yells, "Ketchup!"


Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. The first one says, "Hey, grab that electron, it's mine!" "How do you know?" asks the second. "'Cause I'm positive!" the first replies.


A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?""


Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his pizza before it was cool.


Q. Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?
A. Because they enjoy car toons!


Q: Why does the queen carry a scepter?
A: Because everyone works 'cept her.


Q: What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief?
A: A thief snatches your watch.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo who?
Don't cry. It's only a joke.

my dog

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick