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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: If you go into the toilet American and you come out of the toilet American, what are you while you're on the toilet?
A: European.

Anonymous

Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?
A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Rob P Post

A teacher was testing her students' knowledge of words' antonyms. She asked, "What is the opposite go?" A student answered, "Stop." "Very good," the teacher replied. "What is the opposite of adamant?" Another student said, "Eveant."

Mekdanny

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A: A buck an ear (buccaneer).

randylesser

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Chicken your pockets. I think the keys are in there.

Anonymous

Q: What is the king of all inches?
A: The ruler.

Anonymous

Have you heard about the crime in multi-story parking decks? It's just wrong on so many levels.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a girl with one leg?
A: Aileen.

Anonymous

A lawyer and a regular average Joe are on a plane together. The pilot comes on the speaker and announces that the flight will take up to 16 hours. The lawyer turns to Joe and says, "Okay, I have a game we can play while we pass the time. You ask me any question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50. Then, I get to ask you a question, any question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5." The average Joe says, "Okay, what has four legs going up a hill, and three legs at the bottom?" The lawyer thinks for a moment, then hands Joe $50 and says, "Wow, that was tough. I don't know, what does have four legs going up a hill and three legs at the bottom?" Joe then hands the lawyer $5 and says to him, "There's your $5."

jdawg13849

Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover.

D Hawk

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Anonymous