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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Where do you get virgin wool? From ugly sheep.


Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Olive who?
Olive you!


Someone asked me, "Now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple," I answered, "My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."


A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"


Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It is vey time consuming.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby who?
Abby birthday!

King k

Q: Wanna hear a joke about a stone?
A: Never mind, I will just skip that one.


There are 2 cats. The one two three cat and the un deux trois cat. They had a race across the English Channel. Which cat won? The one two three cat because the un deux trois cat cinq.


I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."


There was a snake crossing a highway and a truck ran over its ass. The snake went back to get its ass and a truck ran over its head. The moral of the story is, "Don't lose your head over a piece of ass."


Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.


Q: Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? A: No, they do everything on porpoise.