joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Someone asked me, "Now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple," I answered, "My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."


Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Olive who?
Olive you!


Q: Wanna hear a joke about a stone?
A: Never mind, I will just skip that one.


Where do you get virgin wool? From ugly sheep.


There are 2 cats. The one two three cat and the un deux trois cat. They had a race across the English Channel. Which cat won? The one two three cat because the un deux trois cat cinq.


Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.


A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"


Q: Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?
A: Because it was rated Rrrrr.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby who?
Abby birthday!

King k

Q: Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? A: No, they do everything on porpoise.


There was a snake crossing a highway and a truck ran over its ass. The snake went back to get its ass and a truck ran over its head. The moral of the story is, "Don't lose your head over a piece of ass."


Q: What's a frog's favorite drink?
A: Croak-a cola.