CHRIS D'ELIA IS BACK ON THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SHOW ON FEB. 23RD! LAUGH ALL NIGHT WITH SOCAL'S BEST COMICS ON ALL-STAR COMEDY EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD DROP BY ON THE SET DANE COOK IS BACK THIS TUESDAY (FEB 20) AND SATURDAY (FEB 24) TO MAKE YOU LAUGH ALL NIGHT! DON'T MISS THIS SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover.

D Hawk

Where do you get virgin wool? From ugly sheep.

Anonymous

Someone asked me, "Now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple," I answered, "My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."

Anonymous

Q: Wanna hear a joke about a stone?
A: Never mind, I will just skip that one.

Laughathon

I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

Anonymous

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby birthday!

King k

Q: Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? A: No, they do everything on porpoise.

Ronika

There are 2 cats. The one two three cat and the un deux trois cat. They had a race across the English Channel. Which cat won? The one two three cat because the un deux trois cat cinq.

Anonymous

There was a snake crossing a highway and a truck ran over its ass. The snake went back to get its ass and a truck ran over its head. The moral of the story is, "Don't lose your head over a piece of ass."

burrolasteve

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It is vey time consuming.

Anonymous

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

NARWHALICORN

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

laughmyass...