joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

Q: Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist?
A: Because you will get Jurasskicked.

Q: What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
A: Usain Bolt can finish a race.

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

Q: What is the lightest thing in the world?
A: A penis because just a thought can lift it.

Johnny was at school and the teacher said, "Someone use fascinate in a sentence." Sally answered, "The zoo was fascinating." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence." Maria suggested, "I was fascinated at the zoo." Once again the teacher said, "No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny said, "My sister has ten buttons on her sweater." Again the teacher said, "Sorry, Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny replied, "I know, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

Q: What do an old person, a Mexican man, and a high school student close to graduation have in common?
A: They're all seniors.

A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."