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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

There are a lot of fish in the sea. Too bad I'm human.

nikkiyama

A tourist from Romania visits New York City. He wanders around sightseeing and gets lost. He asks one of the locals for directions to get back to his hotel. The local notices the tourist's foreign accent and asks, "Are you by any chance Russian?" The Romanian replies, "No, I'm not really in a hurry."

Jason Lee

How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it.

mornoctober

A friend of mine got sacked from the dodgem cars; he's suing for funfair dismissal!

oeg

What's the biggest pencil in the world? Pennsylvania.

jess1669

A turtle that was crossing the street was mugged one day. The policemen came to help and asked him what happened. He replied, "I am not sure, it happened too fast."

Rsteske73

How are sex and bungee jumping related? When the rubber breaks, you're screwed!

XxBuddzxX

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because seven is a registered six offender.

Anonymous

A man walks into a restaurant and sits down to order. The waiter walks up and takes the order. Before he is done taking his order, the waiter asks the man, "Would you like a soup or salad?" The man replies, "What's a super salad?"

JustSomeUser

What's Mario's favorite fabric? Denim, denim, denim.

Bobizzle92

"May I borrow your pen?"
"No, these are my special pens, and this is my second to last one"
"What's so special about them?"
"They are my ultimate writing instrument. I usually use them to keep track of the score in ultimate frisbee. Plus, they have famous people on them."
"Who is that?"
"That's Sean Penn. He's my favorite actor."
"Where did you get them?"
"At the University of Pennsylvania."
"Oh, I see. So that is your penultimate Penn ultimate Penn pen."

Anonymous

Why did the boy go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.

Anonymous