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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen.


There are a lot of fish in the sea. Too bad I'm human.


What do you call a cake made out of hamburgers? A patty cake!


How are sex and bungee jumping related? When the rubber breaks, you're screwed!


How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it.


A friend of mine got sacked from the dodgem cars; he's suing for funfair dismissal!


Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because seven is a registered six offender.


What's the biggest pencil in the world? Pennsylvania.


Why did the boy go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.


A man walks into a restaurant and sits down to order. The waiter walks up and takes the order. Before he is done taking his order, the waiter asks the man, "Would you like a soup or salad?" The man replies, "What's a super salad?"


What's Mario's favorite fabric? Denim, denim, denim.


"May I borrow your pen?"
"No, these are my special pens, and this is my second to last one"
"What's so special about them?"
"They are my ultimate writing instrument. I usually use them to keep track of the score in ultimate frisbee. Plus, they have famous people on them."
"Who is that?"
"That's Sean Penn. He's my favorite actor."
"Where did you get them?"
"At the University of Pennsylvania."
"Oh, I see. So that is your penultimate Penn ultimate Penn pen."