joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fungi!

Joleen

"May I borrow your pen?"
"No, these are my special pens, and this is my second to last one"
"What's so special about them?"
"They are my ultimate writing instrument. I usually use them to keep track of the score in ultimate frisbee. Plus, they have famous people on them."
"Who is that?"
"That's Sean Penn. He's my favorite actor."
"Where did you get them?"
"At the University of Pennsylvania."
"Oh, I see. So that is your penultimate Penn ultimate Penn pen."

Anonymous

Q: Why didn't the paraplegic look in the mirror?
A: He couldn't stand to see himself like that.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

jack cameron

Q. Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
A. Cause he was stuffed.

Anonymous

I was sitting in the traffic the other day. I got run over.

timn

What did the mamma tomato say to the baby tomato? "Catch up!!!"

smrfette

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

AnaK

What are the best kind of letters to read in hot weather? Fan mail.

Anonymous

Why did the sailor grab a piece of soap when he was sinking? So he could wash himself ashore.

Anonymous

What's the difference between pork chops and pea soup? Anyone can chop pork, no one can pea soup.

jdelacerda310

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.

me