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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

What did the hat say to the scarf? "You hang around and I'll jump on a head."


Why was the 8 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9!


Why did the skeleton go to the funeral alone? Because he couldn't find anybody to go with him.


A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"


Q: What do you call a Mexican who lost his car ?

A: Carlos


A fancy Alaskan restaurant invited a world famous chef to be a guest cook. Although the chef was renowned for his spectacular recipes, one customer asked him to prepare a local favorite: whale meat. Try as he might, everything the chef sent out just was not edible. The customer finally stormed back to the kitchen to berate the chef. The embarrassed chef offered to cook a meal of his finest recipes for the customer at no charge. After over an hour of preparation, the chef delivered to the diner the most magnificent gastronomic feast he had ever tasted. As he was leaving the restaurant, the satiated customer was overheard saying, "Well, that will teach me to never judge a cook by his blubber."


What do you call a cow with big t*ts? An utter drag.


Did you hear about that Scottish guy who died? He was kilt.


Q: Where in L.A. can a deer hunter find does in season year round?
A: Venison Beach


I never realized as I was growing up that our family didn't have much money. I thought all the girls wore full length pants in second grade and returned from summer wearing the same pants, but now we were calling them capris!


Here is a hipster pick up line. Hey girl, is that an original Yo La Tengo 7" in your pants? Because your butt is extremely valuable.


What kind of man is a mushroom? He's a fun guy!