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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Why was the 8 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9!

kcfsoccer

What do you call a cow with big t*ts? An utter drag.

njoey3348

Why did the skeleton go to the funeral alone? Because he couldn't find anybody to go with him.

jelus01

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

AnaK

Did you hear about that Scottish guy who died? He was kilt.

Anonymous

A fancy Alaskan restaurant invited a world famous chef to be a guest cook. Although the chef was renowned for his spectacular recipes, one customer asked him to prepare a local favorite: whale meat. Try as he might, everything the chef sent out just was not edible. The customer finally stormed back to the kitchen to berate the chef. The embarrassed chef offered to cook a meal of his finest recipes for the customer at no charge. After over an hour of preparation, the chef delivered to the diner the most magnificent gastronomic feast he had ever tasted. As he was leaving the restaurant, the satiated customer was overheard saying, "Well, that will teach me to never judge a cook by his blubber."

Gaddget

Q: Where in L.A. can a deer hunter find does in season year round?
A: Venison Beach

noahlot2

Q. Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
A. Cause he was stuffed.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

jack cameron

Q: Why is it useless telling a shop keeper to be quiet?
A: Because they don't shut up until the end of the day.

Anonymous

I never realized as I was growing up that our family didn't have much money. I thought all the girls wore full length pants in second grade and returned from summer wearing the same pants, but now we were calling them capris!

imjuskidn

Here is a hipster pick up line. Hey girl, is that an original Yo La Tengo 7" in your pants? Because your butt is extremely valuable.

LaughFactory