joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist?
A: Because you will get Jurasskicked.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: "You're too young to smoke."

Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

Johnny was at school and the teacher said, "Someone use fascinate in a sentence." Sally answered, "The zoo was fascinating." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence." Maria suggested, "I was fascinated at the zoo." Once again the teacher said, "No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny said, "My sister has ten buttons on her sweater." Again the teacher said, "Sorry, Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny replied, "I know, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."

Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!