Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.