Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro sink-o!
Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."
A neutron walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer. How much will that be?" The bartender responds, "For you? No charge!"
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.