If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"
Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”