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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parents' names?" The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling." The teacher said, "Are you kidding?" The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking."

Anonymous

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

Anonymous

Q: What is Mozart doing right now?
A: Decomposing.

Anonymous

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

Mark My Words

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.

Anonymous

Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Anonymous

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan