joke bank - Word Play Jokes

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his bum.

For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did…I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38: 'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!