A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?""
Q: On what kind of ships do students study? A: Scholarships.
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!
Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!
Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!