joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!

Q: What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A: A Christler.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38: 'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did…I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"