To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large.
A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "12:30."
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.