joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: How do fish get high?
A: Seaweed.

claudette

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.

Steven Casby

Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch." He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest." The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means. His dad answers, "It means food on the table." At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means. She responds, "It means getting ready." The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"

gabbylove

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.

Apineash a...

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."

The master

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

Anonymous

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

ANGEL EYES

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra