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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
A: Decalfeinated.

Anonymous

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Anonymous

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Mark My Words

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

Q: How do fish get high?
A: Seaweed.

claudette

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.

Steven Casby

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.

Apineash a...

Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch." He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest." The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means. His dad answers, "It means food on the table." At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means. She responds, "It means getting ready." The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"

gabbylove

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

Anonymous

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra