joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Q: What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A: A Christler.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
A: Decalfeinated.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

A man who is just married is flying to the Florida Keys for a business trip. His new bride is to accompany him the next day. When he gets there, he e-mails his wife to let her know he made it there safely. When he sends the e-mail, he mistypes the address. In Boston, a grieving widow, whose husband has recently passed away, receives the e-mail. She reads it, screams, and faints. Hearing her grandmother’s cry, the widow's 18 year old granddaughter runs into the living room to see the computer on, with a message that reads, "Dear love, I just got here. Preparing for your arrival tomorrow. Can't wait to see you. Love, Me. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."

For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did…I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q: Why did the duck go to jail?
A: Because he got caught selling quack.