Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"
Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."
Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.
This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”