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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Anonymous

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Anonymous

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "California."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "All of me."

Laughat28

Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

ANGEL EYES

A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."

hachouma

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An investigator.

Anonymous

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Michael

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
A: Decalfeinated.

Anonymous

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Mark My Words

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter