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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."

The master

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

Fabio

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.

Apineash a...

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

rigocarr86

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

WhiteFang333

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Michael

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

dhattprettymf