Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Catch Tim Allen monthly in Hollywood on Thursday, October 6th! Come see Adam Ray, Andrew Santino, Chris Redd, Jordan Rock, and more in Hollywood this week. Check the Clubs & Tickets page for more.

joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

Michael

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

jakethasna...

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

dhattprettymf

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

chris

Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
A: Bernadette.

Anonymous

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

Anonymous

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”

robboss301