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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.

Scott Walter

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.

Steven Casby

Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.

Capricorn37

Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Traffic jam.

Anonymous

For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did…I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.

madazzahatter

Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch." He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest." The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means. His dad answers, "It means food on the table." At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means. She responds, "It means getting ready." The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"

gabbylove

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Takeoff Zebra

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

Anonymous

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

dhattprettymf

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

rudikelly

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous