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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

rigocarr86

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."

TheLaughFa...

Q: What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A: A Christler.

Legend45

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

Anonymous

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
A: Bernadette.

Anonymous

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

jakethasna...