To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way.
Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large.