joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

Fabio

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

dhattprettymf

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

WhiteFang333

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

rigocarr86

Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

Anonymous

Q: What do you call stoned Mexicans?
A: Baked beans.

Francis Mata

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

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