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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

Anonymous

This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”

robboss301

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large.

TuboSheen

Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."

Mark My Words

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!

Yusuf