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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

Anonymous

Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch." He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest." The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means. His dad answers, "It means food on the table." At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means. She responds, "It means getting ready." The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"

gabbylove

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: Why did the coach go back to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback!

jericho st...

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous

Q. Why did the apple run away?
A. Because the banana split!

hello_the_...

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

Anonymous

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Mark My Words

Teacher: "Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student: "At the bottom of the page!"

sweety