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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."

Mark My Words

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!

Yusuf

A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "12:30."

Marceline

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Kiana

Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?
A: Firetruck.

russ buss

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parents' names?" The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling." The teacher said, "Are you kidding?" The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking."

Anonymous

Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
A: Frankenstein.

Alejandro ...

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

Dude

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES - There is a mile between the first and last letters!

beauty94

Q. Why did the apple run away?
A. Because the banana split!

hello_the_...