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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!

hello_the_...

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

Rockyz

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!

TheLaughFa...

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

TheLaughFa...

Q. Why did the apple run away?
A. Because the banana split!

hello_the_...

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Mark My Words

Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

Anonymous

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

WhiteFang333

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.

TheLaughFa...