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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

rigocarr86

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her "w".

Me

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

Anonymous

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Silenxio M...

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?
A: Bernadette.

Anonymous

Q. Why did the apple run away?
A. Because the banana split!

hello_the_...

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Kiana

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

jakethasna...

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

chris