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joke bank - Popular Jokes

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Tatauaje13

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Montgomery...

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

nghtvisn

Yo momma's so dumb, when y'all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said "Disneyland left," so she went home.

LaughFactory

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: A boy scout comes home from camp.

Anonymous

Q: Why did President Obama get two terms?
A: Because every black man gets a longer sentence.

CHRIS

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

skylah gol...

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

rockabillyray

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

marquez007

Why are asprins white? Because they work!

ScottBackman

How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.

kallen007

Q: Where does an animal go if it loses its tail?
A: A retailer!

Mason Dunn...