Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
"No bell that's why I knocked."
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.