Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

Why are asprins white? Because they work!

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"