Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."