joke bank - Popular Jokes

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

Q: If a plane crashed on the Canada/USA border, where would the survivors be buried?
A: You don't bury survivors.

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Q: What was Ludwig van Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: Ba-na-na-na!

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Why are buildings called buildings if they're finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.