A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.