Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.