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Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.

Anonymous

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Capricorn37

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

swaggerboy

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

Anonymous

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

Anonymous