A woman had never seen Santa Claus before, but on Christmas Eve night she heard someone come down her chimney so she went downstairs to check it out. ''Oh, it's Santa Claus," she said, "Please stay and chat this is the first time I have met you." Santa replied, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" The lady took off her robe, but Santa said, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" The lady slipped off her nightgown and Santa told her, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" Then the lady removed her panties, and Santa said, ''Hey hey hey, I need to stay. I need to stay, 'cause I can't go up the chimney with my dick this way!"
What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."