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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.

Brett rose...

Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: Because if it had four, it would be chicken sedan.

TheLaughFa...

What did the farmer get when he crossed a centipede with a Turkey? 100 Drumsticks.

Susan7777

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Addie scott

A bear walks into a bar. He says, "I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic." The bartender says, "Sure, but what about the big pause?" The bear says, "I was born with them."

Anonymous

Q: Why do birds fly South for the winter?
A: It's too far to walk.

TheLaughFa...

An old woman walks into a butcher shop and asks for a New Mexico duck. The butcher grabs the nearest duck and hands it to the old lady. She puts her finger up its ass, pulls it out, smells it, and says, "You must be new here because this is no New Mexico duck." The butcher replies, "Yep, I am new here." The old lady comes back with, "Well, where are you from?" The butcher drops his pants, spreads his butt cheeks and says, "I don't know, why don't you tell me."

jleets

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?," asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

buja11

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Anonymous

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

Anonymous

Q: What time is it when a elephant sits on a fence?
A: Time to fix the fence.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a duck that steals?
A: A Robber Duck.

SAM&THEYSE...