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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many Cheetahs!


Q: What do you call a man attacked by a cat?
A: Claude.


Q. Why does a cow wear a bell?
A. Because it's horn does not work


Q: Where do bees go to the toilet?
A: The BP station.


Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."


Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and no hind legs?
A: Sparky.


Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.


Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.


Q: What does a pig put on its paper cut? A: Oinkment!


Why are sharks mostly salt water creatures? Because pepper would make them sneeze.


A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"


A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."