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joke bank - Animal Jokes

How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end smiles.

Rubym8

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

wmancini

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

Anonymous

Dog: "You're such an ass."
Donkey: "Bitch, please."

Anonymous

An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn't wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what time is?" The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, "4:30." The American asks, "How do you know that?" The Mexican replies, "Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street."

Gabe Neaveill

Why are sharks mostly salt water creatures? Because pepper would make them sneeze.

Repor9

Q: What is the difference between OJ Simpson and the Lion King?
A: The Lion King is an African lion and OJ is a lyin' African.

adonis

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

iwe

Q: Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? A: No, they do everything on porpoise.

Ronika

What did the doctor say when a pony came in complaining about a sore throat? "I know what's wrong here; you're just a little hoarse!"

Torybarton

A guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, sees a snail, then picks it up and chucks it as far as possible. Three years later, he hears a knock on his door, opens the door, and sees the same snail. The snail says, "Hey man, what did you do that for?!"

crazyalexian

Coach: "Why are you late for the game?"
Caterpillar: "I had to put my shoes on."

Cherri