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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

iwe

Q: What does a clam do on its birthday? A: Shellabrate!

angelina

Q: How did the frog die?
A: He Kermit suicide.

CrayolaRai...

Why are sharks mostly salt water creatures? Because pepper would make them sneeze.

Repor9

Q: Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
A: Because they were watch dogs.

marty

Q: Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? A: No, they do everything on porpoise.

Ronika

Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with Kool-Aid and vinegar?
A: Because Kermit likes to eat sweet and sour pork.

Devin Smof

A man dining at a restaurant flagged down his waiter and said, "Excuse me. I have a bee in my soup." The waiter replied, "Yes sir. Didn't you order the alphabet soup?"

Anonymous

Q: Why do milking stools only have three legs?
A: Because the cow’s got the udder!

TheLaughFa...

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

Robin Bowen

What did the doctor say when a pony came in complaining about a sore throat? "I know what's wrong here; you're just a little hoarse!"

Torybarton

A guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, sees a snail, then picks it up and chucks it as far as possible. Three years later, he hears a knock on his door, opens the door, and sees the same snail. The snail says, "Hey man, what did you do that for?!"

crazyalexian