Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Two caged circus lions break free and corner a clown in his dressing room. One lion says to the other, "Forget it, those things taste funny."
Teacher: "I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass?"
Student: "The cow ate the grass, sir."