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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's lingerie in the world?
A: In Africa: there's thousands of Z bras.

jacobiwins...

Q: What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
A: Lost.

Anonymous

Q: How do you capture a polar bear? A: You dig a hole in the snow and set peas around it. When the bear comes to take a pea you kick it in the ice hole

Fevedaddy

Coach: "Why are you late for the game?"
Caterpillar: "I had to put my shoes on."

Cherri

Q: What do you call a bear that is cold? A: A burr.

Anonymous

What disease do elderly dinosaurs get? Jurassic Parkinsons.

HumanSlim

A bear walks into a bar. He says, "I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic." The bartender says, "Sure, but what about the big pause?" The bear says, "I was born with them."

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a duck that steals?
A: A Robber Duck.

SAM&THEYSE...

Q: How did the frog die?
A: He Kermit suicide.

CrayolaRai...

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?," asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

buja11

Q: Where do baby apes sleep
A: In apricots

bookworm

A midget with a lisp goes to a farmer to buy a horse. He looks over the horse to inspect it, and says to the farmer, "I'd like to sthee its teeth." So the farmer picks him up to give him a view of the teeth. Then, the midget says, "I'd like to sthee its ears." Again, the farmer picks him up to view the horses ears. Then the midget says, "I'd like to sthee its twat." "Excuse me?" says the farmer. The midget says, "I'd like to sthee its twat." So the farmer picks him up and shoves his head up the horse's twat. The midget's legs are flailing violently, and he’s screaming in there, so the farmer pulls him out and puts him down. The midget looks at the farmer and says, "I think I'll rephrase that, I'd like to sthee it run."

vogez8