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joke bank - Animal Jokes

A bear is chasing a bunny when all of a sudden a djinni appears and grants them each three wishes. The bear, being very selfish, wishes that all the bears in his forest were female and instantly it is done. Then the bunny wishes he had a lifetime supply of carrots in his backyard. For his next turn, the bear wishes that all the other bears in his entire nation were female. The bunny wishes for a motorcycle. Finally on the last wish, the bear wishes that all the other bears on the whole earth were female. The bunny wishes that the bear was gay and rides home on his motorcycle.

HAHA

A snail entered a police station and told an officer, "I just got mugged by two turtles. They beat me up and took all my money!" The officer replied, "Why that's terrible. Did you get a good look at them?" "No sir, it all happened so fast!"

jake9364

Q: What's a frog's favorite drink?
A: Croak-a cola.

p.n.

A crab walks into a bar and asks for something to drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we do not serve food."

weston

Joe takes his friend Steve hunting for the first time, and reminds him to be still and keep quiet. An hour into the woods, Joe hears Steve screaming behind him. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" says Joe." Hey, I kept quiet when the snake bit me," says Steve, "and I was quiet when the fox attacked me, but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg just now, I heard one ask the other, 'Should we eat them now or take them with us?'"

asmart0ne

Q: What do you call a bulldog and shih tzu crossbreed?
A: Bullshit.

Anonymous

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

Seaweed

Two flys are out on a date, so they go out on the town and see fresh dog poop on the side of the road. They rush down and start feasting, when one of the flies stops and has the biggest relieved face. The other fly asks, "Are you okay?" The fly responds with a squirmish smile and the other fly smells something funky and says, "Dude, how rude! You fart while I'm eating!"

Dmontiel23

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!

sarainthesky

A religious woman buys a parrot and takes it home. As soon as she gets the bird in its new cage, it starts hollering, "I'm a whore! I'm a whore!" The lady is embarrassed and asks her minister if she should return the foul-mouthed bird. The minister suggests, "I have a well-behaved male parrot who sits in its cage and prays all day long. Perhaps if we put your bird in with mine, your bird will see the error of its ways and become more pious." The next day, the woman takes her parrot to the minister's house and puts her bird in with the praying parrot. After a few seconds, her parrot starts saying, "I'm a whore! I'm a whore!" The priest's parrot replies, "Come on in honey, that's what I've been praying for!"

Anthony J

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

9

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A: A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!

JacyBro Rose