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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Life is like fighting a gorilla, you don't stop when you get tired, you stop when the gorilla does.

marcwang

Why is turtle wax so expensive? Because they have such small ears.

joeromero70

What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyle.

sommer

Q: What does a cheetah say when someone looks at it?
A: "I've been spotted!"

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that sits on nails? A. Megasaurus (mega sore ass).

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a deaf dog?
A: It doesn't matter; it can't hear you.

Devin Joyce

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love? Boy: I tried it once, but their a**holes are too small.

jesswhithead

What does a gay horse eat? Heeeeyyy.

Burgie

Why did the mother cat move her kittens? She didn’t want to litter.

Callaghan1978

Q: Where do cows go to get some culture? A: The mooseum!

animals

There is a drunk guy in a bar and a big, fat woman with a parrot on her shoulder. She sits by the drunk guy and he looks over at her and says, "Where'd you get that hog?" She looks at him and frowns. He takes a few more drinks, then he says, "Where'd you get that hog?" She looks and says, "I'll have you know, this is not a hog, this is a parrot!" The dude says, "Well I'll have you know, I was talking to the hog."

conner

Q: How many tickles does it take to get a Octopus to laugh?

A: Ten Tickles.

Nate Layson