Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?"
Blonde: "Yes, I think they smell good."
Redhead: "Wow, I can't believe you got your nose between those tiny legs."
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!
Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"
What is the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods. Cats think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God."
Q: Why shouldn't you have a gay monkey and a gay squirrel in the same tree?
A: Because the monkey will go bananas over the squirrel's nuts.