joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens didn't exist yet.

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, "I have a parrot that will let you know daily what goes on in your house. The bird has no legs, so he holds onto his perch with his penis." Reluctantly, the husband brought the bird home. At the end of the first day, the man asked the bird, "Did anything happen today?" The parrot said, "Yes, the milk man came over." The man asked, "What did he do with my wife?" The bird said, "I don’t know; I got hard and fell."

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?
A: A cheetah.

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn't a chicken.

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.

Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey.

Q. what do you call a bear with no teeth
A. A gummy bear

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"