joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Anonymous

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Anonymous

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "If you can make that horse over there laugh, you can get free drinks for the rest of the night." The man walks over, says something to the horse, it laughs, and he walks back over to the bar to collect his free drinks. The next night, the man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks the man if he can make the horse cry. The man walks over, does something to the horse, and it starts to cry. The bartender asks, "How did you make it cry?" The man replies, "Well, to make the horse laugh last night I told it I had a bigger dick and to make it cry tonight I showed it."

Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: "It's pasture bedtime."

Lee Ann S.

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

mgrector

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.

The Fella ...

Q: Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?
A: Because its horns don't work.

Krispyk

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn't a chicken.

bob

A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, "Thank God," and for it to stop you say, "Amen." So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Just in time, he shouted "Amen!" and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. "Whew," said the man, "thank God!"

moe112