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joke bank - Animal Jokes

What do you do with a dog that doesn’t have any legs? You take him for a drag.

Anonymous

Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

mr.minecraft

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"

Swati

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Anonymous

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A: "Odor in the court!"

jonpingel

Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.

Anonymous

A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg. The buyer asks, "Why the wooden leg?" The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school."
"Great, but why the wooden leg?"
"The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy."
"Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?"
"Well when you have a pig that smart you don't eat it all at once!"

Crown Footy

I went to a hot dog stand with my pet snake. I said," May I please have a hot dog for my snake?" The waitress replied, "I'm sorry, but we're all out of buns." I said, "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun!"

Plastereds...

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An investigator.

Anonymous

Hickory Dickory Dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got away with minor injuries.

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous