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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish?

Anonymous

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

tztmama60

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagles

Anonymous

It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"

Swati

Q: What do you call an deep sea Transformer?
A: Octopus Prime!

Silly joker

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Anonymous

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"

Awesome or...

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

garychatte...

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A: "Odor in the court!"

jonpingel

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Because chickens weren't around yet.

Anonymous

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too." The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man. "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

ebaquino

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

wmancini