Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?"
Blonde: "Yes, I think they smell good."
Redhead: "Wow, I can't believe you got your nose between those tiny legs."
Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
What is the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods. Cats think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God."