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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A: "Odor in the court!"

jonpingel

A man goes to a strip club with an alligator. He says, "I bet you that I can put my dick into this alligator's mouth for 1 minute, and when I take it out, it will not be damaged. If I succeed, all of you will buy me drinks. If I fail, I will buy all of you drinks." The other men agree and he puts his dick into the alligator's mouth for 1 minute. After 1 minute, he hits the alligator on the head with a beer bottle, and he opens his mouth. To everyone's surprise, his dick is unharmed. "Now, before you buy me drinks, does anybody else want to try?" After a while, someone in the back finally raises their hand. It's a woman. "I guess I can try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."

Anonymous

Q: What do you call an deep sea Transformer?
A: Octopus Prime!

Silly joker

A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to "get things done." The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished. "Well now, that was kinda quick!" the genie says. "You can do it a second time for the remaining 3 minutes if you want," the genie tells them, winking his eye. Both the female and male look at each other and smile. The man says to the woman, "Okay great, but this time you get to hold the pigeon so I can shit on him!"

8AR7

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish?

Anonymous

Q: Why do birds fly South for the winter?
A: It's too far to walk.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: "It's pasture bedtime."

Lee Ann S.

Q: What do you call a famous fish?
A: A star fish.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Because chickens weren't around yet.

Anonymous

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

tztmama60

Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

Yambone

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

garychatte...