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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"

Awesome or...

Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.

Anonymous

I went to a hot dog stand with my pet snake. I said," May I please have a hot dog for my snake?" The waitress replied, "I'm sorry, but we're all out of buns." I said, "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun!"

Plastereds...

Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windshield?
A: Its butt.

LEXMIA

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An investigator.

Anonymous

Hickory Dickory Dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got away with minor injuries.

Mark My Words

A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg. The buyer asks, "Why the wooden leg?" The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school."
"Great, but why the wooden leg?"
"The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy."
"Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?"
"Well when you have a pig that smart you don't eat it all at once!"

Crown Footy

Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.

typical joker

Q: Why did the pig leave the costume party?
A: Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Anonymous

Why does a squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry!

LusciousLi...

Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

Yambone