joke bank - Animal Jokes

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

mr.minecraft

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Anonymous

What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"

tigerfire

Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windshield?
A: Its butt.

LEXMIA

Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An investigator.

Anonymous

Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

Yambone

Hickory Dickory Dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got away with minor injuries.

Mark My Words

What do you do with a dog that doesn’t have any legs? You take him for a drag.

Anonymous

I went to a hot dog stand with my pet snake. I said," May I please have a hot dog for my snake?" The waitress replied, "I'm sorry, but we're all out of buns." I said, "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun!"

Plastereds...

Q: What is the difference between OJ Simpson and the Lion King?
A: The Lion King is an African lion and OJ is a lyin' African.

adonis