Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn't a chicken.
The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens didn't exist yet.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!" The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats, shoots, and leaves."
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.