joke bank - Animal Jokes

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish?

Anonymous

Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"

Anonymous

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Because chickens weren't around yet.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
A: Because they were watch dogs.

marty

Q: Why do birds fly South for the winter?
A: It's too far to walk.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Addie scott

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

tztmama60

Q: What does a clam do on its birthday? A: Shellabrate!

angelina

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe out of that thing

CLAYBALLTR...

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too." The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man. "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

ebaquino

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

garychatte...

Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

mr.minecraft