Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet? A: To stamp out fire. Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: To stamp out burning ducks.
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?," asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Q: What time is it when a elephant sits on a fence?
A: Time to fix the fence.
Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.