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joke bank - Blonde Jokes

How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.

miked8888

Q: What's a blondes idea of safe sex?
A: Lock the car doors.

Zoopa B.

Three blondes and a brunette are hanging on the wing of an airplane in flight. The pilot tells them that they are too heavy and one of them has to get off or they will all die. After a minute, the blondes decide that the brunette should get off. "Okay, but I want these to be my last words," the brunette replies and begins to sing, "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands..."

Anonymous

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, "Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, "Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says, "Ready, aim, fire!"

Anonymous

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

A smart bl...

Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: To remind them Toes Go In First.

Anonymous

Q: Why do blondes leave empty beer cans in their refrigerator?
A: For their friends that don't drink.

Anonymous

Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.

bethisjoke

Q: How do you get a blond on the roof?
A: You tell her the food is on the house.

Anonymous

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving in a truck. The brunette and redhead are in the cab and the blonde is in the back. They accidentally drive off a bridge into water. The brunette and redhead get out and swim to the surface and wait for the blonde. After a few minutes the blonde surfaces and the other two ask, "What took so long?" The blonde replies, "I couldn't get the tailgate down."

fishy

Blonde 1: "What does WTF mean?"
Blonde 2: "What the fuck?"
Blonde 1: "Geeze, I'm just asking."

VNMP

A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, "Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?" She replied, "The can said for best results apply 2 coats."

mboom123