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joke bank - Blonde Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, "Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, "Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says, "Ready, aim, fire!"

Anonymous

Q: How do you get a blond on the roof?
A: You tell her the food is on the house.

Anonymous

Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: To remind them Toes Go In First.

Anonymous

How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.

miked8888

Q: Why do blondes leave empty beer cans in their refrigerator?
A: For their friends that don't drink.

Anonymous

Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.

bethisjoke

A blonde drove to the shopping mall and found a parking spot which had a sign that read "1 Hour Only," but she wanted 2 hours to shop so she parked across 2 spaces.

Laura S.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde-made Inventions?
A: Solar Powered Flashlights, Helicopter Ejection Seats, and the Submarine Screen Door.

Anonymous

Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

Chip Nelson

A blonde came up to the librarian & yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters & the story makes no sense!" The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

Anonymous

Q: Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that tiny little packet.

MB TWERK

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving in a truck. The brunette and redhead are in the cab and the blonde is in the back. They accidentally drive off a bridge into water. The brunette and redhead get out and swim to the surface and wait for the blonde. After a few minutes the blonde surfaces and the other two ask, "What took so long?" The blonde replies, "I couldn't get the tailgate down."

fishy