Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Open mic signups will resume on 12/6.

joke bank - Blonde Jokes

Three blondes and a brunette are hanging on the wing of an airplane in flight. The pilot tells them that they are too heavy and one of them has to get off or they will all die. After a minute, the blondes decide that the brunette should get off. "Okay, but I want these to be my last words," the brunette replies and begins to sing, "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands..."

Anonymous

How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.

miked8888

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

A smart bl...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, "Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, "Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says, "Ready, aim, fire!"

Anonymous

Q: How do you get a blond on the roof?
A: You tell her the food is on the house.

Anonymous

Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: To remind them Toes Go In First.

Anonymous

Q: Why do blondes leave empty beer cans in their refrigerator?
A: For their friends that don't drink.

Anonymous

Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.

bethisjoke

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving in a truck. The brunette and redhead are in the cab and the blonde is in the back. They accidentally drive off a bridge into water. The brunette and redhead get out and swim to the surface and wait for the blonde. After a few minutes the blonde surfaces and the other two ask, "What took so long?" The blonde replies, "I couldn't get the tailgate down."

fishy

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde-made Inventions?
A: Solar Powered Flashlights, Helicopter Ejection Seats, and the Submarine Screen Door.

Anonymous

What happened to the blonde at the soccer stadium? She drowned in the Mexican wave.

giosaucedo

A blonde drove to the shopping mall and found a parking spot which had a sign that read "1 Hour Only," but she wanted 2 hours to shop so she parked across 2 spaces.

Laura S.