A blonde and brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why she had a rope tied around her waist. The blonde answered that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You're supposed to put the rope around your neck." The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has "Please turn over" written on both sides.
Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.
Q: How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. She does this again and again. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"