Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Catch Tim Allen monthly in Hollywood on Thursday, October 6th! Come see Adam Ray, Andrew Santino, Chris Redd, Jordan Rock, and more in Hollywood this week. Check the Clubs & Tickets page for more.

joke bank - Blonde Jokes

Q: How are blondes and beer bottles the same?
A: They're both empty from the neck up!


Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ears.


A blonde and a brunette walk inside the mall. A few hours later, they come out and go to their car. They realize they left their keys in the car, so they are stuck. Soon after, the blonde says, "Oh no! It's about to rain and we left the top down to our car!"


I knew a blonde that was so stupid she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "Concentrate."


Q: Why did the blonde return the puzzle?
A: It was broken.


Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because that's where you wash vegetables.


What's blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? A blonde doing cartwheels.


One night, two blondes were at the Sydney airport. The first blonde asks the other, "Which is closer: the moon or Melbourne?" The second blonde replies, "Duh, the moon. Can you see Melbourne from here?"


A blonde fell and hurt herself at work. The doctor said she was and would be fine, but needed a little time to heal. The doctor suggested an easier job for a week or so. She brought the doctor's note to her boss and he suggested light duty for the week. The blonde began to cry. Her boss asked why she was crying. She said, "I don't know how to change lights!"


Why did the blonde snort Sweet'N Low? She thought it was Diet Coke!


Q: What do you call three blondes standing in a row?
A: A wind tunnel.


How do you know when a blonde is using a vibrator? Her teeth are all jacked up!