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joke bank - Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde go outside with her purse open?
A: Because she heard there would be a change in the weather.

Anonymous

A blonde and a brunette walk inside the mall. A few hours later, they come out and go to their car. They realize they left their keys in the car, so they are stuck. Soon after, the blonde says, "Oh no! It's about to rain and we left the top down to our car!"

hannahmont...

One night, two blondes were at the Sydney airport. The first blonde asks the other, "Which is closer: the moon or Melbourne?" The second blonde replies, "Duh, the moon. Can you see Melbourne from here?"

MAKESMELOL

A blonde fell and hurt herself at work. The doctor said she was and would be fine, but needed a little time to heal. The doctor suggested an easier job for a week or so. She brought the doctor's note to her boss and he suggested light duty for the week. The blonde began to cry. Her boss asked why she was crying. She said, "I don't know how to change lights!"

jmh

A man is sitting in a cafe. A blonde waitress approaches and asks for his order. “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream," he says. The blonde waitress replies, “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

TheLaughFa...

A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage. Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire. He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?" The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fucking hub cap off."

Peter Gadd

I knew a blonde that was so stupid she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "Concentrate."

Anonymous

Teacher: "If Astronomy is the name for the study of celestial objects, what would you call a person who studies the stars?"
Blonde student: "Paparazzi!"

Anonymous

Three blondes were on a hunting trip. Suddenly they came upon some tracks. One blonde says," They're deer tracks." The other one said, "They're bear tracks." The last one said, "They're elephant tracks!" They were still there when they got ran over by the train.

Emily Gann

Q: Why did the blond have rectangle breasts?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissue out of the box.

ethan watson

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: You wave to her!

A Blonde Y...

A blonde man marries his girlfriend who is also blonde. It's their first honeymoon night and the man doesn't quite know what to do. He calls his dad, who says, "Son, you take the hardest thing you got and you put it where she goes to the bathroom." The newlywed thanks his father, hangs up the phone, and places his bowling ball in the toilet.

Mark My Words