joke bank - Blonde Jokes

Q: Why do blondes take birth control pills?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.


Three blondes were on a hunting trip. Suddenly they came upon some tracks. One blonde says," They're deer tracks." The other one said, "They're bear tracks." The last one said, "They're elephant tracks!" They were still there when they got ran over by the train.

Emily Gann

A blonde man marries his girlfriend who is also blonde. It's their first honeymoon night and the man doesn't quite know what to do. He calls his dad, who says, "Son, you take the hardest thing you got and you put it where she goes to the bathroom." The newlywed thanks his father, hangs up the phone, and places his bowling ball in the toilet.

Mark My Words

Q: Why did the blonde bring a pencil to her bedroom? A: She wanted to draw her curtains.


What's blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? A blonde doing cartwheels.


Why did the blonde snort Sweet'N Low? She thought it was Diet Coke!


A blonde woman won horse riding lessons. Knowing nothing about riding but wanting to be properly dressed, she went out and bought riding boots. On the day of the first lesson, she showed up wearing only the riding boots. When asked why she was naked except for the boots, she said that she was told it was bareback riding and she didn't have any clothes that just covered the front.


Did you hear about the blonde who brought toilet paper to a craps game?

Mark My Words

Two blondes are at work when one of them gets a delivery of a dozen roses from her boyfriend. The blonde coworker notices that the blonde recipient doesn't seem too pleased about getting the roses. "You know," says the coworker, "If I got a dozen long stem roses from a man, I would be very happy." The other blonde replies, "Yeah, but now I have to spend half the night with my legs in the air." "Why?" the coworker asks, "Can't you afford a vase?"

Mark My Words

What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette!


How do you know when a blonde is using a vibrator? Her teeth are all jacked up!


Q: How do you erase a blonde's memory?
A: You blow in her ear.