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joke bank - Blonde Jokes
Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, "two to four years."
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
A brunette and blonde are walking in the park when the brunette says, "Aw, look at the dead birdie." The blonde looks up and says, "Where?"
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
"May I take your order?" the blonde waitress asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," she replied, "we just tell them straight out that theyre going to die."
There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"