"May I take your order?" the blonde waitress asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," she replied, "we just tell them straight out that theyre going to die."
There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine.