Why did the blonde like lightening? She thought someone was taking a picture of her.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"
I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.