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joke bank - Blonde Jokes

Q: What do dim lamps and blondes have in common?
A: They both tend to be hot, but not too bright.

YDS

A blonde decides to try horseback rising. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she's thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.

Chevy Powers

Why is a blonde girl staring at the orange juice box? The orange juice box says, "Concentrated."

krissvr

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

TheLaughFa...

A blond girl was at the store, and just as she was heading for her car, someone stole it. The policemen asked, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

James Harris

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?'' The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!'' The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?'' The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess exactly how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

Anonymous

Q: How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?
A: Knock on the door.

Tyler Harr...

A blonde goes to her doctor and says that every time she drinks a coffee her eye hurts. The doctor prepared her a hot, fresh cup of coffee to see what really happens. She took a sip of the coffee and screamed, "Ouch, that hurts!" The doctor said, "I know your problem." The blonde asked, "Is it bad, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, you just need to take your spoon out of your cup before you drink your coffee."

Rere-lulu82

A blonde came up to the librarian & yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters & the story makes no sense!" The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

Anonymous

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, "Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, "Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says, "Ready, aim, fire!"

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet?
A: The 1863 Blonde Hide-and-Seek champion!

Anonymous

Q: What do you call 10 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes!

Anonymous