How do you get a one handed blonde down from a tree? Wave at her.
A blonde's neighbor's house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, "My neighbor's house is on fire!" The operator asked, "Where are you?" The blonde answered, "At my house." The operator replied, "No, I'm asking how do we get there?" The blonde said, "In a firetruck, duh!"
A blonde gets lost and calls for directions. The operator asks which cross streets she's at. The blonde replies, "I'm on the corner of Walk and Do Not Walk."
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.